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Letting go of your past is easier said than done. How many times have you told yourself, “I wish I could forget that ever happened?”

The stories of our past can show up when we least want them to, and it can get exhausting watching them. They can haunt us if we give them power by allowing them to replay over and over in our minds.

When I was comfortable living in pain, I thought the drama, negativity, and problem-focused thinking were just a part of life. For me, it was “normal” to be in situations that left me feeling battered, bitter, and hurt. I used to think that if I could somehow forget all the bad things that have happened to me, I could start life over again fresh and unscathed.

As I werked deeper to heal my wounds, I found that yes, the wounds I carry from being hurt time and time again can weigh me down, but only if I allow them. I begin to see that sadness, anger, and depression can be temporary if I change my mindset to focus on all the good things life has to offer.

“When you finally let go of the past something better will come along.”

— Unknown

By my mid-twenties, I had achieved so much. I was the first in my family to graduate from a top college, I had lived outside of the U.S., and I was a successful full-time entrepreneur. However, there were many times that I held myself back from really pushing to the next level because I was afraid of judgment or failure.

Growing up, I used control as a means to feel secure since so many things were out of my control. I took pride and comfort in trying to control everything I could. In retrospect, I probably needed counseling to help me get over the past, but I chose to take it on myself. I started reading tons of self-help books and researching ways to get over my past and learn how to be free without controlling everything.

After having my son, I found the mindset I used to get through life didn’t work for me anymore. I had another life that depended on me, and I quickly realized that trying to control a newborn is impossible. To add more to the mix, I was thrilled to be home with my son his entire first year of life, but I also balanced clients around feedings and naptime. Plus, I was a single mom most of the time because I had split from my son’s father.

That period of my life was really tough. The only thing I was sure of was that every day I had to take care of my son and somehow manage to fit in doing work for my clients so that I could make money for us to live. I also knew that in order for my son to live his life to the fullest potential, I’d have to be his example of what you can achieve by having a winning mindset and werking smarter not harder.

It took years for me to see the power in my past experiences and use that to create the life I have today — one full of happiness, love, peace, and prosperity (not always monetary). I’m happy to share a few of the strategies that really helped me move on from my past!

Forgive those who have hurt you

When you choose to forgive those who’ve hurt you, you take away their power. That’s right. Once you let things go, it opens up more room in your life to focus on the things that actually matter. There are many ways to forgive someone. You can tell them in person or over the phone, write them a letter and burn it, you can forgive quietly to yourself, etc. Whichever method you choose, make sure that you will make a conscious effort to move on after that moment.

Focus on solutions instead of problems

There’s no getting around it; being hurt is not a fun experience. It SUCKS. And it’s even worse when you’re not able to get the closure you feel you need to move on. One key thing I did to let go of my past was that I started focusing on how I would solve my problems. I put the excuses aside, and I did whatever I had to do to meet the goals I set.

Be grateful for what you have

Appreciating what you have in life is a game-changer when it comes to creating a more abundant life. It can help you feel happier, and it can help you overcome challenges more quickly. If you have trouble thinking of things to be grateful for, definitely check out this article.

Put yourself first

Prioritizing your mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual health is crucial to attaining and maintaining your success. When you’re your best self, you have more energy to help others. One thing that has helped me so much in managing life is creating rituals to do in the morning and throughout the day to help stay grounded. By doing more self-care, I can help more people, and I feel good about it because I’m not sacrificing my happiness.

Give love freely

The love that I have for my son has taught me that true love is unconditional without expectations. It’s one of the best lessons I’ve learned in life. This principle has helped me create closer relationships with others, and it led me to build a solid foundation for the relationship I have with my husband. By not attaching conditions to love, I have been able to focus more on my reaction to the things that trigger me instead of returning to old habits.

Always remember that you can choose to release the things that do not align with your values or the direction you want to go at any given moment. Negative attachments can prevent you from creating the life you deserve. It’s dead weight that can keep you going through the same cycles. If you’re looking for a group to help keep you accountable as you create the life you deserve, check out the Queendom Moves Academy.

Cheers to learning, owning, and living in your power!

Xoxo,

Ashton Lynne : )